Saturday, July 2, 2011

To my dearest brother on your 28th birthday,

I miss you.

I miss how you could always get me to laugh. How you made me laugh harder than anyone!

I miss your smile.

I miss how excited you were about life. You have truly inspired me to live a better life, to serve more, to be more.

I miss how you filled any room with joy. It is so quiet here without you.

I miss your loud voice. How you would lean over and tell me a joke in church, thinking you were whispering, but actually ending up telling the whole congregation.

I miss our Sunday dinners, our weekly get-togethers, our vacations, our camping trips, our holidays we would spend together, etc.

I miss seeing you and Adley together. The day I had her, you sat in the waiting room for twelve hours, as you were so excited to become an uncle. You loved her, and she loved you.

I miss seeing the joy in mom and dad’s eyes when you were around. They are so proud of you.

I miss you taking care of me. Up until the day you died, you watched over your little sis. I pray you are still with me.

I miss your many nick names you had for me. My favorite being “skizzy.”

I will miss you at BYU games. I will miss getting season tickets every year by you.

I miss being able to call you any time I want. I have picked up the phone several times since that dreadful day, but have realized you aren’t there. It is completely unbearable without you here. Lately, I dream almost every night you come back, and then wake up to realize you are still gone.

You are the one I believed I would always have by my side, even as our parents grew old and passed on. You were the one who always took care of our family, especially mom and dad. As you have now left me as the oldest, I don’t know how to pick up where you left off. You were so much better at it than I am. Please show me how.

I know it was your time to go. I know where you are right now, and I know you are fulfilling a greater purpose. I know I will see you again. I know when this life is over for me, I will be with you forever. But even as I know these things, I still miss you. My heart still aches for you. This life still seems too long without you in it. Please watch over us. Please continue to take care of us. I look forward to the day when this is all over. I know you will be there waiting for me, as I know that day will be a glorious one. I love you brother, Happy 28th Birthday.